Back Then

When you stand there and break.
An endless supply of tears
Cascading down your face
Before you even understand why
And you're frozen in time,
Stood like a statue;
Stuck in that moment
That very second when you realize,
Nothing will ever be the same.
You can't ignore this,
And the tears keep coming,
Because you're fed up.
Tired and scared.
And your body?
It has no other solution.
Inconsolable.
That's what you are
Because in that moment,
Everything just stops.
It's too much for you
It feels like the weight of the world-but more
And what could possibly be worse?
Your first heartbreak,
Exceeding what you could have imagined,
And not in the form you would have thought.
But then there are arms around you
And you break all over
Because these arms are stronger than you-
All of you.
And you thought you couldn't break again;
Not more than once.
But that was a lie.
Because you don't have to be whole to break,
And you're broken
In more ways than you know,
In more places than you care to acknowledge.
But then you're in your bed,
Covers all around you,
Clutching something-anything,
Because the inanimate can't traumatise you.
Certainly not like this.
And you're praying,
That nothing else happens tonight,
That your fear would no longer appear justified
And you wonder,
Why...?
And it haunts you;
Scares you immeasurably,
That some questions are never answered;
That some truths are simply forgotten.

Nyamedo