The Mess That I've Become

I thought you’d finally left me alone,
I was dumb enough to believe that I’d woken up to find you gone
But it was just the calm before the storm - nothing more than an illusion
Because you’re a bloody hurricane and you rip me to shreds
You taunt me and toy with me
I’m stupid enough to believe that you’re someone I can escape
Life’s just a never ending cycle of torture
You let me recover, just to have it start back up all over again
You watch me heal, only to stand there and drain me of all but my very last ounce of hope
I hate you more than I know how to hate
And it kills me because all I want to do is break, but I can’t
Because no one’s here to pick up the broken pieces
And I’m scared, I’m scared that I’m always going to feel this way;
That I’m always going to feel alone,
That I’m always going to hurt in places that I can’t even reach
I’m scared of the mess that I’ve become

NHG