Death of a Salesman Monologue Reflection

Death of a Salesman Reflection:

I am pleased with how I did on my monologue, because I put a lot of thought into it. When we were reading the play "Death of a Salesman" in class and I had to read Biff's lines, I got really into character and so I formed a connection with him. I felt bad for Biff and since he was my favourite character I looked forward to "becoming" him. This really helped me when I was writing my (Biff's) monologue because I felt like I knew Biff and we generally shared the same opinion on Willy and his death. I love reading because it's like getting to know someone on a deeper level; forming connections with characters, and this project allowed me to explore that. I was able to take my understanding of Biff and put it to good use. I found it helpful to read "Death of a Salesman" out loud to myself because that way I could add emotion to my voice, depending on the atmosphere suggested by the stage directions, which overall helped me to better understand my character's reactions to different situations. Another thing that I enjoyed about this project was the fact that it was recorded because that made it easier for me to have people watching it rather than me having to stand up in front of the entire class and give a speech.

If I could do this project all over again I think I would try to be a bit more creative with my video. For my video I used pictures to represent different parts of Biff and Willy's lives but I think that it would have been more interesting to use the people around me to show the various stages in their lives in a proper film format. I think that my pictures were relevant but that people generally find it more interesting to watch an actual person talking rather than just pictures on a screen. 

The link for my video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BcYrhki85c0&feature=youtu.be

Notes:

(Biff Loman)

I’m going to be playing Biff; Willy’s son, ten years after Willy’s death..

Pop, I’m here to apologize. It’s taken me ten years to think about your death and to clarify my feelings but I should have come by here sooner-I just couldn't bear coming back here alone after the funeral. Anyways, I’m here now and these thoughts have been running through my head for the past ten years so I’m just going to let everything out..

 I should never have thrown my life away because I saw you with that woman. But Pop, you need to understand that I didn't blame you for the way my life was going. I was hurt for mum during your affair but that wasn't what stopped me from going to school in the summer. I realized that I’d always looked up to you, not because you told me that you were successful but because you were happy. You were happy and so I thought that happiness was success, but when I saw you with that woman… Pop you were living a lie! You weren't happy in life or else you would never have needed that other woman! If you were happy our family would have been enough for you! Maybe at first it was out of spite; my decision not to go to summer school.  I was horrified pop! You were my idol, you were the most amazing person to me and then, then you weren't anymore. I was lost and I didn't know what to do but I never blamed you. This however...killing yourself, I know you meant well, and I understand what Uncle Charley said on the day of the funeral. It was easy for me to judge you, because I never knew what it was like to be you. I’m not excusing what you did; I’m just saying that I didn't know what you were going through.

I still can’t believe that you did this to us, Willy! I was trying...trying for you. I wanted to succeed, for you. I loved you and even after everything that has happened I've never stopped loving you. For a whole year after you were gone I blamed myself. Mum wouldn't look at me, she couldn't and I just kept on hearing her words in my head “His life is in your hands, Biff.” Those words haunted me the whole first year that you were gone and they still hurt me, even now, ten whole years later. I've spent so much time sitting around depressed. Willy I never wanted things to end up like this. Our lives were so promising; so much lay ahead of us…I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, but sorry isn't good enough. You’re gone and you’re never coming back. After a year Charley came by to see me, I was still living at home with Mum…but we didn't talk, there was nothing to say. Charley told me to fix his porch; he didn't offer me money he just demanded that I get up and do something. While I was busy banging away with his hammer, I felt closer to you than I have in years. I know that you gave up your life for me and I realized then that I needed to make the most of my life, to make something out of myself. You inspired me Willy, you've always inspired me, but I only realized it once it was too late. 

I can’t believe that you thought I’d want the money over my own Pop!! Willy, I've come to term with your death but I’ll never understand what was going through your mind when you crashed that car. Sometimes I still wake up to the crashing of metal, I still hear it in my head… I don’t agree with what you did; I don’t believe that killing yourself was the best option, but I won’t judge you for it, I can’t judge you for it. But I will say this Pop; you didn't know who you were because you didn't realize that money could never replace you. You missed the point that family’s what’s most important, not money or success. What good is success if you have no one to share it with Willy?

I still don’t think that you knew who you were in life. Pop, you needed to open your eyes and see the world! There are so many different ways to succeed in life; I don’t understand why you thought that there was only one way. I made it Pop, I finally made it. I have a family; kids and a wife whom I love very much. I wish you were here to see it. I think you would have been proud- I hope you’re proud. My kids know about you, but I wish that they could have met you. My oldest son is called Willy-we named him around you! He plays football. You two would have been such pals; he’s got the potential that you always saw in me! Maybe he’ll make it big one day in honour of you. Pop, I still think about you all the time. I’m sorry. It was my fault that this happened. I should have been a better son. I should have made something of myself whilst you were still alive but I’m gonna keep working. This is all for you. I hope that you’re looking down on me feeling proud and I hope you’re in a better place. You deserve it Willy…you really deserve it.